Woof...

Is it appropriate to leave your dog in the car while you go into a sit down restaurant? Granted they left the back of the car open, but these dog are not leashed in anyway and were particularly fierce, growling and barking as I walked past. Not only could they possibly jump out, but if any little kid had run up to that car they may have lost an ear or nose! These dogs were not nice and they were not supervised. BTW, lunch at this establishment was an EASY hour long escapade. People never cease to amaze me.

Done!

I'm a yearbook editor at my kids' school. It sounds very important, but it is glorified scrapbooking. Anyhoo, I created a book - 136 pages!! The book has been delivered and distributed to the kids and I am finally done with this 9 month long project. WHEW!!

I had a great idea - to let some of the kids design a few pages in the book. O.M.G. This was SO hard for me to let go and let them do it how they wanted to. I'm such a control FREAK. They chose horrendously loud backgrounds, hard to read fonts, terrible photos and BORING clipart. O.M.G. What was I thinking???? I tried hard to guide them positively and allow them their own creative freedom. I bit my tongue and held back my gasps as they threw unrelated clip art willy nilly all over a page. I believe I developed an ulcer over the entire process of letting go. And the book turned out GREAT. I am in utter disbelief that I was thisclose to changing some of their work to make it look better. Granted, it is NOT perfect, not even close. But the kids love it and as much as I thought the book would not flow, it really isn't that bad. It shows so many different perspectives. I am pleasantly surprised at how much I like the book.

This idea of letting something go is something I need to work on translating into my everyday life. I find myself taking on things in order to make sure that they are done right. Most of the time it would not really matter one way or the other. I continually judge and rank others on how they host an event or perform a task. I'm highly critical of anyone who is in charge of anything I attend - I surely could have remembered to bring an extension cord, MY GOD who goes camping without extension cords!!??.......I digress.

I don't think my problem is perfection, but rather preparedness. The absolute best complement my ever given me is when my child said "Mommy, you are the most prepared woman I know!" I think I could have hit the moon I was so high on that comment. I'm the one who has the matches, I'm the one with the knife/scissors, the sunscreen, the bandaids, the hats, the extra sandwiches.......you name it. When going somewhere I am definately PREPARED for the worst case scenario. Take a field trip for school - if I'm a chaperone I automatically assume that no less than 3 children will forget their sack lunch. Therefore I pack enough food for 15 people in my cooler, you know, just in case. I am also the person who begins to hyperventilate when leaving a foreign country and the airport security confiscates my airline terminal purchased bottle of water at the gate! My GOD, when that plane is delayed and we are stuck on the tarmac for 5 hours I want to be the one with the bottle of water that saves all of mankind. And yes, my car has any number of batteries in it at all times, along with anything you might need in a hurricane, tornado, tsunami, mass world destruction or girl scout camping. You should see my 3 day earthquake kit (I do not live in an earthquake area) and I believe we could live for 3 years on it. I also have kits to secure my family in our innermost bathroom with duct tape to cover all holes and vents in the event of any type of airborne outbreak. hee heee heeee heee. Don't be scared to come a little closer, I'm really not crazy.

I don't believe I am this way for recognition purposes because I LOATHE to be noticed. I think it relates to my low self confidence. If I am the prepared person I have a way to feel good about myself - yay me. I love to be behind the scenes when it comes to anything. I'm like the pageant coach who loves to make the beauty queen a success, but please just leave me backstage. I don't want anyone to take credit for my work, but I also don't want a round of applause. I LOVE it when people notice that everything is "just right" and I don't mind at all if you talk among yourselves that I am a mastermind of planning - just don't tell me. I have a hard time accepting your compliment. I didn't do it for you, I did it for me. Crazy, introverted, prepared me. At least I think I did it for me, but I'm not sure. I think I'm just a bit weird.

Bowling....

These are my children bowling. Set up some plastic water bottles, get a ball and use a big sister with an oversized candy cane to clear the lane. What could be more realistic?

Why YES, that would be a WII in the background, and surprisingly we own WII SPORTS, which includes BOWLING. Hmmm.....what is wrong with this picture?

And here is my totally hot hubby....

All it takes is a backwards hat to push me over the edge. Smokin'!! I could totally eat this man with a spoon.

Poop

We have 2 cats. Recently one of them, "M" has begun pooping on our carpet.

The cats have full access via a cat door to the outside world, they also have a catbox in the basement, where the catdoor area is. WTF???!!

Could it be rebellion? Our cats have been in the family longer than the kids. The cats don't really like the kids (seeing as how the arrival of kids pretty much kicked the cats to the bottom of the ladder). ALSO, one of my children has recently figured out how to pick up, dress up and carry around the cat. My child will only do this to "M" as he is a decidedly good sport and won't scratch her eyes out. I do believe that one day he will go postal on her, but I've given many a fair warning to them both - I can only hope for the best.

Could it be that we recently went on vacation and left the cats alone for a week? Are they mad?? My initial reaction is that "M" is PISSED about being abandoned for a week. Now, before you go call the kitty police realize this - the cats can come and go as they please, they had automatic fresh water at all times and a bigass self feeding container. No one was neglected.

The POOP mystery was solved by my husband. He caught "M" in a struggle, flailing and fighting, meowing and thrashing.......STUCK in the cat door!! This is the single funniest, sad situation I believe I've every encountered. The poor cat has eaten himself into oblivion and can no longer fit through the cat door which leads to the basement!! "M" has always been a big boy, but apparently having a week of self feeding has pushed him over the edge into full on KITTY OBESITY. He can't get to the catbox, he can't get to the outside via the basement because he simply can't get to the basement!! He won't fit through door number one, though try as he might. So I give you......drumroll, please.....Mr. Fatass Kitty Cat "M". And I beg to find out exactly how to fit this ROUND ASS through a square hole.

The cat door has been removed for the safety of all cats involved (and to make room for a larger hole which will house a DOG door, to accomodate the 'Hey Kool Aid' Cat.)

No cats, or children, were harmed in the making of this post......and yes, he is now on diet food.

Pee

What do you do when a really good friend tells you something and it causes you to never want to visit her again? And it has nothing to do with her.

It's him (but that's usually the case - sorry guys...). So, we are just chatting and having some quality girl time when it somehow gets around to talking about our men and that's when I find out this interesting tidbit. Her man is OBSESSED with peeing outside. Maybe it's territorial, maybe it's a love for the outdoors, who knows. Every chance the man gets he pees in the backyard. EVERY CHANCE. Meaning almost daily. At first I found this funny, but then I started to think about it. GaaROoSS!

The thought of my kids playing in that yard is disturbing, but worse than that is the thought that there is no soap or sink in that backyard - meaning I don't want to touch their doorknobs!! EEEwwwww!! Then, does he go in the house and wash his hands, or is this an all natural experience and he goes on about his business. Is the whole.house.contaminated.????

I'm a germ freak, clearly, but this is beyond my comprehension. So how much longer can I keep putting them off for that dinner invitation?

God Hates Sinners

We spent the last week along with all the young, nubile, mostly naked teens at the beach - SPRING BREAK, BABY!! We took our kids to Seaside for our first ever 7 day long beach trip. We usually cap out at 4 days, but we stayed the entire week. Probably because my husband liked the "scenery".

We purchased beach set up service (living LARGE). When we got to the beach we had a nice set of chairs and umbrellas just waiting for us to lounge around on all day in the peaceful tranquility. Or, um, not so much tranquility. See, when you pay for beach service you don't get to pick your spot - they just set up chairs and stick names on them. We were sandwiched in between a group of about 30 teens (boys & girls) who were very rowdy and the flipside was a quartet of old bitches smoking like chimneys. Guess who we were downwind from? That was $115 of well spent money. To top it all off, when we went to the beach for the afternoon only we get there to find a pair of fat ass men sitting in our chairs (clearly labeled) and they were dripping wet. We walked up and stated that the chairs were ours, and the bastard is like "oh, yeah man, here ya go". He hops up and pretends to not notice that we are in clothes, not swim suits and can now not use the chairs that WE PAID FOR because of his sagging, dripping wet ass has covered them in water, sweat and sun oil. STUPID FUCKER! I absolutely HATE people who show no respect for others.

The teenagers topped off the lameness by accidentally letting their volleyball get away from them. The ball was rolling fast down the beach and totally smacked a lady sleeping in the sun right in the face. It scared her half to death and clearly hurt. The teens, instead of taking the high road and apologizing for a very clear ACCIDENT, scattered like cockroaches in the light. By the time the lady lifted her head they were all sitting in chairs, laying on towels or frolicking in the surf as if they had never played volleyball in their lives. COWARDS. DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE SHITS. I loved the fact that the lady then decided that if they were not going to own up to it she was going to keep the volleyball. She promptly placed it under her head as a pillow. I love it!!

More stupid people followed by the droves, but my favorite by far was at the Goodwill store in Santa Rosa Beach. As we were searching the shelves for used books to read on the beach I noticed a girl walking around in a bright yellow shirt with black lettering. The lettering appeared to have been spray painted on and said "GOD HATES YOU SINNERS". This was on the back. She then turned and I caught the front, "REPENT OR BURN IN HELL". Lovely. She definately got her point across. The BEST PART was her car which we found as we left the store. I had to take pictures, and the photo of the driver's door is not totally clear as I realized that someone was sitting in the car and I then began to fear for my life that I might be thought a WHOREMONGER and burned at the stake.

The driver's door says "Donations Accepted, give money to driver" (uh, yeah, right) - "10% Tithe Your Pastor Lied". The side doors say "REPENT or BURN in HELL the ???, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, WHOREMONGERS, ???, ??? and ALL LIARS shall have their part in the LAKE of FIRE". Then we go on to find out that God HATES Muslims, gays, the KKK and *gasp* SANTA CLAUS......

We laughed as we took the photos of how outrageous and radical this type of witness is, but really it is scary to know that there are people like this in the world. They are creating more hatred and harm.

It was very clear by the reactions of others in the parking lot that the message they are *trying* to convey is getting very lost in the extreme delivery. I give them credit for having the conviction to so openly display their belief, but I'd be willing to bet that more people are turned off by this display. People never cease to shock me and it just reminds me that it "takes all kinds". I find it hard to believe that living a life feeling hated by God can be fulfilling. Aren't we all sinners? No human can be perfect or divine, therefore, if God hates sinners, he hates us all. What a sad existence.

And to cleanse your palette of the rant I just posted, here are some pictures of my cute kids on the beach. This is what is washes away all the rage of the stupid people in the world...

Rectified

So, things have been rectified, to a degree.

I'm not angry at anyone, but I'm still just deflated as to why it is that a male lacks the ability to figure it out sometimes. NO, I don't expect you to read my mind, but if I spend any amount of time with you I have come to the conclusion that you are not an idiot. In fact, I probably find you as a superior type of person loaded with common sense - otherwise, I would not waste my time on you. The thing I hate the most is when a person lacks the ability to anticipate and diffuse. Whatevs... All is not lost and hopefully next time he will be equipped with the human reaction instead of the fucked up asstard male response. Of course, if there is a next time I'll likely roast him and feed him to the cats, so let's hope for the best.

In medical news we found our 6 year old to have the need for a Mastoidectomy. This is the removal of portions of bones from the middle ear due to negative ear pressure and the fact that her ear drum is being sucked inside her head. OUCH, it sounds painful yet she has never once complained of ANY ear pain or problem. We went in based on pediatrician findings and it is much worse than expected. We are getting a second opinion before opting for this surgery as she will have to be generally anesthetized (a.k.a. mommy loses her mind). I need to stop reading about this stuff online until I know for sure because it is stressing me out completely. While this was in the past a pretty routine treatment (before antibiotics) it still freaks me out to no end. I'll be curled up in the corner chewing on my hair if she has to go under.

I'm off to an art exhibit. While others I know travel to foreign countries to visit cultural museums (multiples in one day), I have the artist right here in my own home. My oldest has her own masterpiece featured in the Administration Building in DOWNTOWN smallville. An exhibit for exceptional young artists. I haven't seen the piece as of yet, but I'm told by the artist that it is "Hamburger Bliss". Photos to follow, I'm certain.....